The saga of the window shade

First of all, I want to say "THANK YOU!" to Home Depot for making a purchase & a return 2 separate transactions.  Without this generosity, I would be stuck with a too short shade that didn't block any light.  Now, if I could only get the time back from multiple return trips to the Home Depot trying to get it right...  well... read on.

The window coverings have been an issue for me.  I found great fabric that I thought would make great curtains for a little boy's room.  The fabric I found led to the theme of the nursery - transportation - and was cute so I was excited.  I hung the unhemmed, incomplete curtains & realized that the white fabric was going to do NOTHING to block the light from the sun in the mornings.  Faced with this dilemma, I became aware of 2 choices:  buy a shade/shutter/blinds for the window or get black-out curtains to keep the light out.

I usually like to deliberate and debate my choices ad nauseum before making a purchase.  In this instance, Dean & I were out shopping & stopped at the Home Depot.  I intended to just check on their shades so I could compare to the ones I saw at Lowes.  While there, Dean said "Just buy them!"  and for some reason, I did... even though I didn't like them as much as the ones at Lowes... the price was similar.  This is mistake number 1 - never, ever deviate from your decorating rituals.

I gave the girl the dimensions for the window (68 15/16").  She wasn't sure how to measure 15/16 of an inch so she took off a few inch fractions to "make sure it would fit."  These are mistakes numbers 2 & 3 - have the attendant cut to the dimensions.  If they don't understand what 15/16ths is, show them.  Voluntarily shaving a few inch fractions will lead to trouble.  

We got home, I installed the brackets & then put the shade up.  Not surprisingly, the shade was too small.  :(

A few days later, I went to a different Home Depot and told the man at the returns desk that I needed to exchange the shade.  He gave me an exasperated look and said "Is that shade cut?  If so, we don't take returns on cut shades."  My heart sank & I contemplated playing the pregnancy card... my bottom lip may have been quivering because he then said "I guess you can take it back to the windows department to see if there is anything they can do."  I said "Okay" and went back to the department.

The woman working was very understanding & offered to authorize the exchange and cut a new shade for me.  She measured the shade & discovered it was actually 68 1/4" (no wonder it was too short!).  We agreed to cut the new shade longer than expected  68 15/16" and I could come back to have it cut shorter if needed.  She did, we measured & I went back to the return desk to make the exchange.

At home, I went to put the shade up & committed mistake #4.  At the ends of all shades, there is 1 side that contracts & 1 side that is fixed.  When putting up the shade, you should put the fixed end into the bracket first, then slide the contracted side in.  This didn't occur to me at all when I put the shade up & couldn't fit it into the brackets.  So, I made a mark on the fixed side bracket and drove back to the Depot to get it trimmed to 68 3/4".  When I got back home, the shade was too short.

Frustrated, I remeasured the window (still 68 15/16"), measured the shade (still 68 3/4").  A few hours later, I realized my installation mistake.  I needed to make another return.

I go to a different Home Depot & ask to exchange the shade because it's too short.  I gave the guy the measurements - 68 15/16".  He had been busy, apparently, and hastily cut the shade & sent me on my way.  This is mistake#5 - when you have 2 shades in your hand & are returning them because the one you have is too short, if the new shade is the exact same length as the old shade, do not take the new shade home.  Again, the D@MN shade was too short.

Back to the Home Depot - a third one - I go with my too short shade.  The man working in the windows department says that they don't take returns on cut shades.  I am literally reaching for the pregnancy card & toss it out there "But this is to keep the sun out of the baby's room..." I say, adding a lip quiver for effect.  I thought that saying this is the 5th return on the same product proves that what he said wasn't true, but I thought the pregnancy card would be more effective.  He chuckled & said he'd make an exception for me this time (I made a mental note to go to a different Home Depot if this one didn't fit).

We chatted about babies as he took the dimensions & began cutting the shade.  "Some people will cut these too short, but the point of these shades is to make sure they fit snug, so they should be cut to the exact width, no less," he tells me.  Understood.

"When you install the shade, be sure you put the fixed end in the bracket first.  Push down on this side so it fits snug.  That's why one side is fixed & the other contracts!"  he says.  Really?

"Okay, let's make sure you have two different sizes," he says as he pulls out a measuring tape & measures the shade I brought in against the one he just cut.  Wow!

"Now, we're not supposed to do this, but tell the gal at the exchange desk that I sent you, okay?  Good luck with the baby!" he says as he sends me on my way.  At this point, I'm close to tears.  Why did I go to those other Home Depots?

I make the exchange (my 4th) and head home to install it.  And it fits perfectly!  Now I really am in tears!  HALLELUJAH!  I have window shade!

I pull my partially completed curtains across the now adequately shaded window and realize that I kinda hate these curtains.  Sigh...