She Became Pregnant

Last night, I read "she became pregnant." I stopped and had to read that again. 

"She became pregnant." 

Oh my gosh. That phrase makes my stomach turn.

I have read and heard that phrase throughout my life. Growing up, girls that became pregnant were fast... were asking for it... were considered loose... were not raised right.... were sluts.  Do not become pregnant was my premarital assignment. I never questioned the word choice then but feel obsessed with the word choice now.

Became pregnant.

Become pregnant.

Become. Merriam-Webster.com has 2 definitions 

Is pregnancy really something that can become for her?

"Her pregnancy came into existence...

"Her pregnancy came to be...

"She underwent a change...

"She developed a pregnancy...

"She was suitable for pregnancy...

My pregnancy was the result of a night of unprotected sex with a man with whom I was in a committed relationship.

Wow. Why was that so hard to write? And why does seeing it written down make me feel so uncomfortable?

To be clear,  the unprotected sex part led to the pregnancy, not the committed relationship part. 

We  became pregnant...

Our pregnancy came to be...

Our relationship underwent a change...

We developed a pregnancy...

We were suitable for pregnancy...

We became pregnant.  

No pregnancy can become with out two people.  However, only the woman bears the burden, the responsibility, and the aftermath (aftermath: consequence, result, or the period immediately following an unusually ruinous event) of "becoming" pregnant.

In 2018, Gabrielle Blair wrote this brilliant thread on Twitter that started:

Additionally, in the same thread, she pointed out there are zero consequences for men:

In a just world, both people would bear responsibility for the outcome of pregnancy. 

So, I read "she became pregnant" the night after the Supreme Court decided to nullify the 1973 Roe v. Wade decision. Roe v. Wade decision guarantees, sorry, guaranteed a women's fundamental right to privacy including her "liberty to abort her fetus." Then justices went on to say that this right "must be balanced against the government's interest in protecting women's health and prenatal life." - Wikipedia

The government's interest? Yuck. If the government has an interest in protecting women's health and prenatal life, there are so many better ways to show that without forcing women to remain pregnant. 

Today, Gabrielle Blair wrote: 

Women's health and prenatal life can also be protected by

• guaranteeing universal health care
• tracking and minimizing mortality rates for mothers and babies
• providing affordable housing
• making education free from pre-school through college
• removing weapons of war from civilian hands

If our leaders in Washington are unwilling to do any of these things are they really demonstrating a concern for the health of women or their children? 

She became pregnant in the United States, a country that never really cared about women's health and prenatal life.

(Note: I am using gendered pronouns primarily because this story is about myself and my partner and my thoughts on my own pregnancy in this world. I acknowledge that people who can get pregnant and who can get people pregnant may identify use other pronouns.).