The Place Outside of Me

Last night I listened in on the School Board meeting to hear the outcome of the vote to ban the book  A Place Inside of Me A Poem to Heal the Heart by Zetta Elliot

With such a beautiful title, what is the controversy?

Well, if you live in a predominantly white sub-rural community that is desperate to make America great again like Hanover, the biggest problem with this book, in my opinion, is that white people are not centered. 

One member bloviated about the violence depicted in the book. So much violence, he claimed. Let's unpack that.

The book is full of vibrant, colorful art that centers a hoodie wearing, skateboarding Black boy. On the first two pages, he's riding a skateboard. On the third page, he is playing basketball.

The fourth page shows him at a barbershop, the news flashing on the TV shows that a Black girl has been shot. The assumption here is that the girl was murdered by police. The poem does not expressly say this and the picture images do not draw this conclusion.

On the fifth page, the boy is home in bed, cowering under a blanket in the wee hours of the night. Red and blue lights are flashing across his messy room while his pet cat sleeps curled by his side peacefully sleeping. He is staring at the reader, the fear in his eyes is palpable.

Page six shows the boy trying to swallow the anger he feels at the death of the girl. There are protests, including a sign that says Black Lives Matter. One panel shows hooded figures in black with POLICE on their back facing a color filled group of protesters with Black Lives Matter signs. One of the officers has his baton in the air.

Page 7, we see the boy climbing the monkey bars, falling and getting back up.

Page 8 is a spread of him overlooking an outdoor playground filled with kids playing, artists displaying their wares, people interacting in community with each other.

Page 9 shows the boy making a presentation in school.

Page 10 is a double page spread of beautiful people.

Page 11 shows a classroom of children meditating.

Page 12 shows the boy comforting his sister.

Page 13 shows the boy at a candle light vigil for the girl who was murdered.

Page 14 is an aerial view of a music festival with birds soaring overhead.

The final page shows the boy smiling on his skateboard.

Noa Denmon's illustrations flow beautifully with the words that Zetta Elliot weaves to explore and explain the boy's emotions including:

• Joy
• Sorrow
• Fear
• Anger
• Hunger
• Pride
• Peace
• Compassion
• Hope
• Love

That's it. That is the book. Cover to cover. Where is the violence? There is none, unless you equate Black boys expressing and processing their emotions with violence. 

This poem is a Caldecott Honor award winner. According to Wikipedia, 

To be eligible for a Caldecott, the book must be published in English, in the United States first, and be drawn by an American illustrator. An award committee decides on a winner in January or February, voting using a multi-round point system. The committee judges books on several criteria to meet the Caldecott's goal of recognizing "distinguished illustrations in a picture book and for excellence of pictorial presentation for children." - Wikipedia.org

"Distinguished illustrations in a picture book and for excellence of pictorial presentation for children." Seems like an award that would not go to a book that depicted violence. 

So, how did the discussion with the school board go?

One member kicked off the discussion saying that librarians are educated professionals who should be trusted to do their jobs. He made a motion to keep the book in the library which was promptly seconded.

I'm not an expert on Robert's Rules of Order, but I do believe that once a motion has been made and seconded, a vote must be taken. In hindsight it would have been in the best interest of all involved to have just taken the vote then because what came out of these old white men's mouths was foul and disgusting.

One member emphasized that he wasn't up for banning books, but thought that this book was inappropriate for kindergartners.

(NOTE: This book is not part of instructional materials and is available in the school's library for any student to check out)

Another member also wanted to go on record saying that their decision to remove a book is no different than a librarian choosing to not add a book to the library. Hello false equivalency. A librarian can choose to not add a book to a collection for a variety of reasons that are driven primarily by their education and knowledge of the content and their audience. A ban, is a means to prohibit by legal means. 

These men don't have the depth of education to understand how and why librarians pick the books they do. And they show zero interest in much more than the sounds of their own voice. Make no mistake, their discussion is about banning this book.

This same member went on to say since, to his knowledge, no child in our county has lost a parent to police violence that this book is not relevant for "our children". This member does not know nor does he deign to interact with every family in this county. A more empathetic person would want to ensure that this never happens to any children in his district. Instead, he dismisses the idea that this could have happened. Unfortunately, police do kill people and sometimes those murders are unjustified and those murders go unpunished. If the collective response of people in power continues to be to pretend they don't happen, they will continue to happen. And those murders will continue to happen to people like the boy in this story. People like my son. People like my brothers. People like me.

He finished by saying that the police are the good guys. This is 3 weeks after Uvalde where the police stood outside while a teenage gunman murdered 18 children and 2 teachers.

But to add the really racist cherry on top of this shit stew, he had to express that "city" kids may be used to this kind of violence. And, he went on to say, "This book promotes things I disagree with." 

What do you disagree with again? Here is a synopsis of this book from Wikipedia:

A young Black boy describes "a place inside of me" that holds all of his emotions, such as happiness as he plays basketball with his friends. He feels sorrowful one day when he is at a barbershop and the news on the television reports that a girl has been shot by the police. Later, the boy is afraid when he sees the light from a police siren outside his home, and angry as protestors holding Black Lives Matter signs face off against the police. He feels a yearning to be free, pride in his heritage, and peace as he meditates with his classmates. Finally, he feels compassion and hope as he attends a candlelight vigil, and love for his community. Reflecting on all of his emotions that he has experienced throughout the year, the boy resolves to love himself most of all.

So, he really want to be on record saying that he disagrees that Black boys should love themselves? That Black boys should not  have emotions or should not express their emotions - especially anger or fear or freedom or pride?

The next member kicked off his statements saying that elementary school is too early to introduce "our" children to "Black Lives Matter." 

Yeah. He really said that.

He found some Federal Judge in Georgia or Florida who decreed that Black Lives Matter is a political statement. And politics should be kept away from children. "I don't want to be known as banning a book, but I do want to follow the law."

It feels entirely more political to limit children's access to differing opinions and ideas. Who gets to decide which parts of American history are too political to discuss with children? Is it just too political to have any topics in schools that center the experiences of Black and brown people? In this member's opinion, "Black Lives Matter does not equate to 'common life' in Hanover County." 

Over 76% of the children in Hanover County public schools are white. Black Lives Matter is common life for them as much as it is common life for the Black students who make up over 9%, the Hispanic students who make up over 6%, the Asian students who make up over 2%, the multi-racial students who make up 5% and Native American students who are just under 1%. 

The collective quilt of our individual experiences are what makes up common life in Hanover. If you cannot muster the intellectual curiosity, the compassion or the empathy to see beyond your own experience you should not be in a position of power to impact the lives of the people who you so callously dismiss. 

Another members mentioned Nikole Hannah-Jones's magnificent The 1619 Project as evidence for what happens when we marginalize people. He says that nothing good can come from marginalizing people as shown throughout history. So, he concludes, the marginalization of the police in this book is proof that children should not be exposed to it. The police.

This is a book that centers a Black boy. Is that really the issue here? Of course it is.

Still, I believe in my community. During the pubic comment session, 10 of the 19 speakers voiced support for keeping the book. One white woman, the daughter of a 1950s South Carolina police office said 

"Any child feeling the sorrow and anger will see they can come through these feelings to a more positive outlook. This can help avoid the anger building up inside and may save a life of oneself, others, and a police officer. Don’t you want that?" 

A white man vowed to spend $1,000 of his own money to buy and distribute the book across the county if the Board removed it from schools.

Our School Board has never been one to be moved by the emotional appeals of the people who's lives are actually negatively impacted by their decisions. Their continued laser like focus on ensuring that "common life" in Hanover is protected for "our children" extends beyond this awful discussion about this book.  Not surprising, though Black students are less than 10% of the student body, they make up 20% of short term suspensions - a statistic that never gets better and never gets addressed. They have insisted on not protecting transgender students as well.

Holy shit. These are the people making education policy in the district where I have chosen to have my son educated.